They Call Me Dean....Paula Dean.

Well, it happened.  And everyone lived through it.  Myself.  McKenna.  Bryant.  The dogs.  The house.  The neighboorhood.  Wow.  A miracle.  A sign from God that his time for us is not up yet.  Yes.  I'm talking about Thanksgiving Dinner 2009.  What was different about this Thanksgiving meal verse years' past?  Well, let's just say that the cooks in my family (a.k.a Bryant, my mom, my aunt, my Grandma, my M.I.L, or anybody else's Thanksgiving dinner I've devoured!) passed the apron, so to speak....to me!  Oh Jesus.  This could have been bad.  Real bad.  Let me preface by saying that I have royally messed up all of the following while attempting to do what they call "cook:"  hard boiled eggs, chicken noodle soup (Campbell's....only to be heated up), Easy Mac, & cheese quesadilla's.  These are all validated.  No lie.  Ask the unfortunate members of my family.  They can, and will, verify. 

I decided to document my Turkey Day adventures in the kitchen with a few photos.  This way there were photos available for insurance purposes after the fact. 

Rather than frying, roasting, basting (what does that even mean?), plucking, or whatever else you can do to a turkey, Bryant & I decided to use the good 'ole crockpot & slowly cook that bad boy to a crisp.  I might have let Bryant take care of decapitating it so that it would fit in the pot.....that weird feeling of mushy, fleshy, dead meat gives me the heebie jeebies & quite frankly makes me want to vomit.  Once it was small enough to fit, we threw a smorgasbord of random crap in there and let it sit for 8 hours.  Nice.  My kind of cooking.

This is what we like to call Obbessive Compulsive Disorder.... I might have HAD to put each items in the container that it would be served in before they were even cooked.  Doing this made everything right in my life. :-)

While the turkey was basting, baking, or whatever it is that turkey's do in crockpots, I decided to make a scrumptcious cheesecake....from scratch of course. 

So to make cheesecake (from scratch), all you have to add is butter....wish I would have seen how easy it was to measure butter before I started scooping it. Damn.

 Regardless, the ending product was in the words of my girl, Rachel Ray, delish.  :-)

Lucy enjoyed the cheesecake too....while Cami just thought she was in trouble for some reason.  Pansie.

Then it was nap & wine break time!!  :-)  World's best baby sitter right here!  Cheers!

I busted out the fine china for the occassion.  Booyah! 

Our feast!  And despite the couple "bumps in the road," like the first round of stuffing burning & almost running out of wine.....it was delicious.  A day for the record books! 

  And then the smell of turkey left-overs & dog food almost made me ralph.  Awesome.

Gobble Gobble Gobble....Thank you Thank you Thank you!

Well, it be that time o' year again.  The time of year where everyone becomes all gushy & mushy & thankful for what they have in life.  My take on it....whoopidee doo.  Shouldn't we be thankful ALL year around??  I know I am.  But I guess I'll jump on the bandwagon & share what I'm most thankful for.

1) The internet - what would I spend my vacation days doing if not surfing the 'net?
2) Shoe Dazzle - already spoke of KK's awesomeness HERE!

3) Franzia Boxed Merlot - a great accessory to the new wine glasses I just bought.  Which is in turn a great accessory to my internet surfing.  ;-)

Okay - just kidding....here's my REAL list....(but don't get me wrong - still thankful for the above list!) :-)

First of all - I have only the best family in the world.  Seriously.  My family would kick the bestestness out of your family.  Just sayin'.  :-) My Mom & Dad - they're awesome.  That's about all there is to it.  Sometimes they're more awesome than other times - like when they're buying stuff for me & babysitting my kid!  ;-)  (Haha!  Just kidding...sort of, but not really! haha! Does that make me selfish?  Damn.  I thought so.)  My nieces, Kailee Rae & Holland.  Kailee makes me laugh so much & turn green with envy at what rock star curls she has.  Think Taylor Swift but on a younger & cuter face.  And Holland - I can't wait for her & MK to get big together!!  My sisters, Katie & Storm - basically, they rock my face off for more reasons that I have time to list here.  Brothers, Stuart, Reed, & Jared.  Jared's the smartest, most caring kid I've ever met.  Reed's an awesome father & friend...to say the least.  And Stuart, he's great.....in a far off, pretend like we're not really related sort of way.  But whatever, I'm still thankful!  :-)  M.I.L. & D.I.L  (internet code for "mother in law" & "dad in law.")  They're the most down-to-earth, generous people I know.  And a great model for Bryant & I to imitate our marriage after.  I mean, for real.  Anyone who can stay with AND STILL BE HAPPY with their high school boyfriend/girlfriend deserves some extra kudos in my book.  Seriously - if I was still with the people I dated in high school....well, let's just say things would probably get a little ugly, on a daily basis.  But whatever, I guess it's Thanksgiving, so I need to be thankful for them too, right?  :-)  So thank you exes.  I appreciate it.

Bryant - geez louise.  Where would I be without my spandex-clad-over-obessive-I-need-to-ride-my-bike-RIGHT-NOW husband???  He keeps me grounded, laughing, & loving.  Plus, he's pretty killer in the kitchen.  Which is crucial, since I lack somewhat in the culinary skills.  And little McKenna Rayne.  Wow.  I have always been annoyed by the parents who "can't put into words" how much they love their kid.  And I still get annoyed by it....unless it's me.  ;-)  MK has shown me what life is really about.  And I can't wait to watch her & help her grow & explore the world as she gets bigger.  What a weird feeling.  Don't worry if you don't understand.  Its totally cool, because I still don't either.  :-)

Then there's my posse.  And posse's of years past.  A short, but loving list include:

- My little Georgia Peach

- The Cajun flair in my life

 

- My CRAZY ASS husker of corn

- My fashionista dollface & rockstar kidney warrior

- My Superman lover (AKA - Lois Lane)

- My recessive co-workers & and maybe just one or two non-recessive ones! 

- ALL the New Mexico amigos that I left out West.  :-(  Sadness.  I miss you all!!!







These are just a FEW of the people that God has blessed me with....and like everyone else this week, I wanted to share who I'm most thankful for in my life.  :-) 

Happy Thanksgiving!!

Chocolate vs. Vanilla, Mustard vs. Mayo, Democrat vs. Repulican, Edward vs. Jacob.....

Ahhhh....the time has come.  And it's been a long time coming.  Pale faces.  Hairy over-sized dogs.  Fangs.  And the defeaning noise drowning out all that werewolf howling....screaming teeny-boppers.  Oh yes.  It's here.  The ever-so-anticipated New Moon is in theaters right now.  You knew as soon as you saw that 14 year old little girl ask her boyfriend with the with the Edward Cullen 'do to bite her, that Twilight was back....

I have a confession though. I LOVE the Twilight series. Much like most of my fellow over-aged teeny-bopper friends, I finished the entire series within a week or two (26-29 years old isn't too old for pre-teen books, right?????.....insert awkward silence......DOH!!). As I closed the final book, I think that was the point when I realized how much of a Twi-hard, Twerd, or whatever you want to call us, I was.  I about lost my shiznit when I heard that the twisted-vampire-fantasy-writing-genius, Stephanie Meyer refused to write another book in the series.  I mean, who does she think she is?  Withholding Edward, Bella, & Jacob from us like that??  I've got a name for her....it starts with "B" and ends with "itch."  ;-)

But what is it that draws us into these Twilight stories?  I mean seriously.  Let's analyze this.  Bella whines....ALL the time.  She whines about her looks, her clumsiness, & the never stable relationship with her blood-sucking boy toy, Edward. Plus, she apparently views herself as WAY less than average in the looks department while every male around her seems to need an oxygen tank when she's walks by.  That's annoying & a total crock of shit.  She knows she gorgeous.......so obnoxious.  If you got it, flaunt it.  Oh, and she needs constant supervision....that's also annoying.  You're 18 years old.  An adult.  Take care of yourself. 

And Edward, well he always complains also.  About being a "monster," not having a soul, blah, blah, blah.  Plus, he is controlling & manipulative over Bella.  Now Jacob....well he's an immature 16 year old....who just HAPPENS to have a killer pre-pubescent body....horse manure. 

Okay - despite all these little annoying facts about the characters.  We're drawn in.  We can't get enough.  Whether you're Team Edward or Team Jacob, we obsess over these charachters and the weird twisted little love triangle they live in.  (Oh, and a side note - how about the fact that the battle between Team Edward & Team Jacob is as bad as Democrat vs. Republican?  I mean really??  Team Edward is definitely the way to go....seriously, his policies are so much better....though Team Jacob has more "asthetically pleasing" policies.  But trust me, after watching New Moon, if you were Team Edward, you'll either totally become either Team Jacob or an Independent one.  There's no going totally back to Edward without Jacob after that splendid cinematic experience.)

 Why the obsession though?  It's fictional.  I try to convince myself of it, but sometimes it doesn't work.  The Twilight Saga makes me want to fall in love with a vampire and have a werewolf as a best friend.  Really, Funston?  Get a grip!  ;-)  Is it because their love is literally only a story book love and we all know that in the end everyone's going to live happily ever after?  Who knows....

Well, whatever.... whether you love or hate Edward, Bella, & Jacob, Twilight has placed itself nicely in the history books of our Pop Culture.  Now we just have to wait for Eclipse to arrive in Theaters....June 30, 2010.....my 4 year anniversary.  Bryant's so lucky.  He doesn't even have to go out of his way to make special anniversary plans....we'll be at The Paradisio, getting our Vampire on.

A Dazzling Turning Point!

So I have reached YET ANOTHER turning point in my life. I mean, this one is for real. Geez. These last 3 years have been NUTS for me. I got married, got a real job, moved back to the South (which for those of us who have left & re-entered know why this accounts for such a huge turning point…I mean where else in the world can you get legit Sweet Tea, Chicken & Biscuits, & confederate flags on a daily basis?) I also had a kid, etc, etc, etc. But seriously, this turning point really hits home. And will for a lot of other women after they read this & discover what I stumbled upon a couple weeks ago. It will change your life. And I have nobody else to thank but the Armenian princess herself; Kim Kardashian.

We all know Kim Kardashian. She rose to stardom through a process similar to Paris Hilton’s skanky Praying Mantis looking ass. Kim is known for her last name (yep, it was her dad that was OJ’s right hand man in his murder trial), her modern day Brady Bunch of a family life, & being a So Cal socialite….Oh! And I almost forgot about her also having a massive derriere and a sex tape. So yes – she’s not one of our celebrity royalty for nothing. She worked her way up the Hollywood ranks through her choice of butt-clinging clothes and the genius marketing and mass production of her sex life. Regardless, I will just say one thing about Ms. Kardashian. I love her. It’s true. But that’s all I’m going to say about that, because the plot of this blog is not supposed to be about WHY I love KK, but how she changed my life. Two words: Shoe Dazzle.

KK is not only an expert socialite, but she’s also an entrepreneur. Thanks to the oh-so-intelligent reality show, Keeping Up With the Kardashians, we know she & her sisters own a clothing store called Dash. But she also started an online company called Shoe Dazzle. And the word amazing just doesn’t do it justice what-so-ever. Go to www.shoedazzle.com & you’ll see what I mean. To sum it up, KK & her fashion “dolls” send you a new pair of shoes EVERY MONTH for the low cost of $39.95! I mean seriously. It’s better than finding that random $5 in your pocket you didn’t know was there. It’s better than that weird little feeling when cleaning out your ears (yes – even little McKenna loves that feeling! Don’t deny that you don’t either!). Anyway, to open your email to an assortment of killer shoes that Kim Kardashian herself had a hand in picking out JUST FOR YOU is like no other feeling in the world. And all it takes is ONE click on “SEND ME THIS SHOE NOW!” to have your feet dazzled. And this is better than being BEdazzled. As cool as being Bedazzled is…pause NOT.

I’ll go on the record of saying that I’ve never considered myself to be the most fashion forward person in the world, but I’ve also never considered myself to be at the back of the fashion pack either. I DO realize that brown belts don’t tend to work with black shoes. BUT now, with my new BFF Kim’s help, I’ve brought the Macy’s shoe department in my closet to a whole new level. So ladies, do yourselves & the rest of the world around you a favor. Let Kim & her Dazzling Dolls accessorize your feet in a way you’ve never expected before. Shoe Dazzle us and bring out your inner Kardashian. You’ll learn to embrace it like I have.