Meda Video Fun

She may or may not be a fan of peas.... The jury is still out.

 (Apologies to those who hate watching little kids eat, like I still do used to. Go ahead and skip this video.)

 

Where Did April Go? Definitely Not Anywhere On My Blog.

Wow - I've been slow on the blog posting this past month....Okay, "slow" is the wrong description. I'm always slow about it.

Completely "AWOL" is a tad more accurate.

So let me try and update you on what's been going on....

Work: Well, I've been busy with BFR shows and sales. If you're in Memphis, you probably saw me at Spring Market, Crawfish Festival and will see me again this coming weekend at Collierville's Fair on the Square,'' which I'll be at in this torrential downpour. Super awesome. Come out and get wet with us if you're in the mood to shop!!! :-)

*Speaking of BFR... if any of you are interested in ANYTHING to do with Be Free - purchasing merchandise, mission trips, hosting a trunk show, etc. - please don't hesitate to contact me! I can hook you up! #ShamelessPlug

Small group stuff: This is pobably crap that would bore you since you're not a part of my kick-butt Jesus-loving small group at church....(which you probably should be if you're not. It's awesome.). I've been able to get together with this amazing group of women a few times this month to study The Word and it's been great. #TotalJesusNerds Every time we're together, I learn something new or get a new perspective on God's will for my life and for others. 

PS - if you've never studied through Beth Moore's work, GO DO IT NOW. She is hysterical, down-to-earth and real.  I recommend her video series' since she's so animated and southern. She also has a blog, which I follow. I relate well to her personality type. #SassyAndSouthern

DAMN YOU Writer's Block!

Writing:  It's been slow.... to say the least. Currently, I'm sort of stuck in a rut on the book, and trying to break out of it. Some might call it "writer's block." Just trying to sludge through it and not loose ALL motivation to do it.

BIRTHDAY'S!!! So on the 27th, I celebrated the big 3-0 birthday. Weird, right? But I'm pumped for thirty. I'm convinced that your thirties are probably the coolest decade. You're an adult, but still not "old".... (okay, maybe a little old).... and people are forced to take you seriously, right? I mean, because you're thirty years old. So, I'm pumped. People might take me seriously now. 

Thirty is definitely the new twenty. 

Also, the husbandal unit turned thirty-one two days after my birthday. So Happy "People Have To Take Us Seriously Now" Birthday to him, as well! With both of us in our thirties, that means we're a serious couple, right? :-) #YeahIDidntThinkSo

Fetus Cooking: Well, I'm 38 weeks along in this pregnancy now. Weird. I'm about to have my second kid. NEXT week. That is if she doesn't show up before. With these contractions I've been having, I won't be surprised if she does. In fact, I'm surprised she hasn't already. But whatever... she's giving me a little more time. 

I go into the hospital for an induction on Wednesday, the 8th of May. Now, that is strange. Two kids... in just a few days. We'll be like a real little family... with parents in their thirties. #weird

I'm excited.

Britney & Lacey, with BFR, hosted a baby shower for me earlier in April as well. It was so fun and I am blessed to have such great friends who showed up and showered Meda & I with gifts. :-) I've included a couple pics. (Clearly.)

This last month has been rather uncomfortable for me physically. This kiddo is MUCH more active and brutal to my insides than McKenna Rayne was. Don't get me wrong - MK was very active, but sheesh.... this little one has it out for me or something. There are times where it feels like she's literally going to pop through the skin. I find this strange because apparently Meda Grayson is much smaller than MK was, according to the doctors. 

Speaking of doctors, I've been on the weekly doctor appointment plan for a little while now, and receiving ultrasounds EVERYTIME I go to the doc, due to the high risk factor I've got going on, because neither Meda or I are fat enough for anybody's liking. I won't lie - I enjoy the ultrasounds, especially considering I only had 2 with McKenna (at 9 weeks and at 20 weeks), but my house is FULL of ultrasound photos now. In drawers, on counters, under beds... And let's be real, those black and white fuzzy TV-like photos of uterine aliens aren't quite the type you'd hang on your wall. Though I feel like a bad parent if I throw them away! Ugh.... #dilemmas.  

But anyway, Meda Grayson will be here next week!!! Craziness!

Running:  OMG. Y'ALL.

I registered a few days ago for my first FULL marathon. EEEK! I'm so pumped. The last bit of this pregnancy has been a little rough for me since it's race season and everyone around me is gearing up, training and racing now! Friends, my husband, everyone... I hate just sitting on the sidelines without my own training in full force. #JealousyIsAHorribleThing

Yes, yes... I know, I know... I have an amazing reason NOT to be running, etc... and I'm so, so, so grateful for that... but that doesn't mean I don't want to be out there as well. So sue me. :-) I plan on, as soon as the doc gives the okay, starting back up again and training for some triathlons as well, and not just running. Whoop! 

But anyway - back to the marathon. I had originally planned on running my first full marathon ON my 30th birthday, but... well, that didn't work out after I got myself knocked up. So the new plan is the St Jude Memphis Marathon on Dec. 7th. I will have plenty of time to train after Numero Dos arrives. I'm going to be training with BPC Performance Systems in their St. Jude training groups, headed up by BPC Running Coach & probably the best/fastest runner in the greater Memphis area (as well as a good friend of ours), Ben Knoernschild. Whoop! It's going to be fun training with this group!

In order to race, I'm required to raise $500 for St Jude, which I'm totally pumped about, as well. St Jude is an amazing hospital and I want to do what I can to help those kiddos! I even dragged my friend Molly into registering with me! Haha! #Sucker #YouAreWelcomeMols 

Something else I'm excited about when it comes to this?? I've already been contacted to write "my story" regarding coming back from pregnancy and training for my first full marathon. Plans are in the works with the editor for me to submit a short series of articles and then a final "recap" article after the race about the overall "journey." He even wants photos of me with Meda Grayson at the finish line. HA! This makes the whole marathon-deal sound so epic, doesn't it? HA! Little does this guy know I am the world's biggest "I-hate-running-runner," so he might not realize what he's asked me to do! HA! #IReallyDoHateRunning #ButNotReally #ButReally #OkILoveIt #Sometimes...

This is the ABSOLUTE truth!! HA!

~~~~

So that's been my last month in a nutshell. Exciting, right?  #NotReallyForAnybodyButMyself

Just trudging through each day now, playing the waiting game until Meda Grayson arrives. Not to worry - I'll be posting those annoying mom-new-baby pics once she does arrive. :-)

Happy MAY everyone!

#OMGItsMay #WhenDidThatHappen

As of Late

So what's been going on with me? Well, I'm glad you asked. ;-)

To sum it up: it's been a few weeks of a little bit of craziness. In the past few weeks I've been to Orlando, Louisiana, Philadelphia, and tomorrow I leave for Santa Barbara. And in between I've been trying to keep up with normal life and work.

Orlando was a quick trip where I spent all day everyday sitting on my butt in a dark venue judging the National High School Cheerleading Championship. While I had a great time visiting with old friends from my prior full time job, I have to admit, watching cheerleading routine after cheerleading routine is draining. The best description I can think of for you non-cheer peeps is to press repeat on the movie Bring It On.... over and over... for twenty four hours straight. Yeah, it's like that. And I secretly loved it. 

Sprint finish in the Crit. Bryant is on the right.

After Orlando, my dearest spandex-clad and cycling obsessed husband decided last minute we needed to make a trip down to Louisiana for a bike race. When I say last minute, I mean last minute. I was at a baby shower when I received a text message from him saying he registered for the Louisiana race and needed to leave within the next couple hours to get there. So I left the baby shower, got home, packed, and off to the bayou we went. It was a good time (considering the last second deal it was and the what should have been a 5 hour road trip that turned into a 7 hour one) and the husby did relatively well! He got 3rd and 2nd in the respective races down there, so getting a minuscule, wouldn't even pay for the gas down there extremely large paycheck made it not at all completely worth it. ;-) #LoveYouHusby

Hello Philly!

Next, I hopped a plane to Philadelphia for the 2013 Justice Conference last weekend with BFR. This event was amazing. Two words to describe it: divinely intentional. God had his hand on everything that weekend - from the sessions we sat in on, to the people we met, to the location in the venue our booth was placed, to what an amazing hair day I had.... (Oh wait, that part is not true at all. Never mind.)... It all just worked together for good. It did even on a personal level, as well. I was able to meet and connect with other authors and publishing companies as well. Not that I'm sure my book will ever need a publisher at this point, but hell, it was pretty sweet! It was actually pretty creepy how God played things out for me... and the whole BFR crew that was there. A cool creepy though.  ;-)  #ThereHeGoesBeingCreepyAgain ;-)

Mary Helen (Southern Rep), Christina (West Coast Rep) , & myself working the booth!

Last week's events went off amazingly well!  Maggie rocked the house and the event at Fleet Feet was so fun! I was just sad that I'm currently knocked up and unable to partake in the wine drinking while there! #PregnancyWoes

With Lacey at Fleet Feet! Thanks to Christin for taking this photo!

So what else can I update the interwebs on? Oh! As for baby Meda Grayson... well, apparently neither she or I are fat enough for everyone's liking.

I know, right? WTH. I feel like a fat cow at 30 weeks right now. And getting bigger and more uncomfortable everyday. However, I went in to my doc a couple weeks ago for a regular pre-natal checkup and she ordered me an "emergency ultrasound" to make sure Meda was growing enough. Her words, "You don't look big enough."

See doc? The inter webs
say I'm within the "safe zone"
for my fatness!
#SoThere

And then, she sent me to UT's High Risk Pregnancy center to see a perinatoligist and additional uber-high tech ultrasounds. Well, it turns out Meda is fine... just a tad small. The doc said he thinks she'll have a six-pack all her life. Ha! And at that, I said "You're welcome, little Meda." Even though she's ultimately fine, they are continuing to monitor me on a regular basis (on top of my normally scheduled appt's with my lady doc) to make sure she stays above the 10th percentile for her size.

I have to admit, it was all kind of scary there for a minute. I just have to make sure to keep eating and providing her enough nutrients. Thanks to all of this shenanigans, I have everybody in my life watching what I eat like a hawk. Which isn't cool. But I guess necessary. I feel like I eat plenty, but still get hounded. Oh well... I know everyone is just looking out for little Meda and her six-pack.

So that's what's been going on as of late.

Oh yeah - and I head off to LA and Santa Barbara tomorrow!  I'm sure I'll be posting on that jazz later! :-)

Happy Would-Be Birthday

Do y'all remember this?

Well, today marks what was my original due date for the baby that we lost last summer.

I'm not really sure why I felt the need to do a blog post about it today. Or even what I have to say about it, ya know? I guess maybe just to prove to myself and this lost baby that I haven't forgotten? I don't know...

I mean, it is what it is. Moms lose babies all the time due to miscarriage. So I don't know why I felt the need to bring it up again.

I guess I just figured miscarriage was one of those things that "would never happen to me."

But now I feel selfish for even re-hashing it again. Like, what makes my miscarriage that I lost more special than other moms? Why even bring it up again?

I probably shouldn't think like that though. Every child, both born and unborn, is special.

I knew, even then, God had a bigger plan for that child... and for our family here on Earth. Even despite how much it hurt... and sometimes still does. And I've been soooo blessed since with another baby on the way - who is seemingly healthy too. This current pregnancy has helped me get over the miscarriage - sort of like an atonement baby, I guess. But that doesn't mean I don't think about that child ever. Everyday, in fact.

Wondering what he/she would look like?

Would he/she be a good baby and sleep through the night early on or make mama get up at all hours of the night?

His/her birthstone would have been garnet.

He/she would have been a Capricorn and apparently very driven.

I guess this post is just to serve as a reminder for me? I don't know.

Well, whatever it is...Happy Would-Be Birthday Baby Fun! :-) Can't wait to see you someday!

Closet Photographers, Non-Coordinated Outfits, Negative 30 Degree Weather = Our First Christmas Family Photos!!

So let's just say I know how to pick my friends.  And I know how to use and abuse them.  And they never even realize they've been had.  Let me give you an example.  I have a one friend who is a closet photographer.  (As in she's uber talented, but is dumb and hasn't come out of the "I'm not good enough" closet yet.)  But once I found out this juicy detail about her, I planted the seed.  The seed about how us Funstons, despite how vain we may be (I mean come on. Take one look in our home at the number of photos of ourselves there are, and you'll agree.), don't have any "good" photos of the three of us.  (Well, that part is true.  We only have good pictures of Bryant with McKenna.  No good ones of the three of us or of me with her.  OKAY!  So maybe I just wanted more photos of myself...geez.)

Anyway, my friend Lacey agreed to take some Christmas photos of our family, and I was quite jolly to say the least.  I went to church that morning, prayed I had a good hair day, came home and in the good Christian way started bossing Bryant on what we need to wear.  The decision was that he and I would wear jeans with a black top and McKenna Rayne would wear red with black pants.  That way her outfit would contrast with our black tops and still be "Christmas-y".  Well, it turns out that Bryant doesn't have a black shirt that was warm enough to go outside or nice enough for these type of photos.  And it also turns out that McKenna needed a coat to go outside, but doesn't have a red one.  Damn.  Two strikes.  It also turns out that it had rained for about a week straight prior to this day and everything outside was super wet.  We had planned on taking photos outside at the Botanical Gardens here in Memphis, because its super pretty and would be the perfect setting for outdoor photos....had the sky been blue and the ground not sopping.  Ugh.  Three strikes.

Anyway, I got over it really quickly and decided we would still meet Lacey to take the photos, since I knew we wouldn't have another chance before Christmas.  And besides, I needed to mail out our Christmas card ASAP since everyone who was to get one was undoubtedly already sitting at their mailboxes just waiting for ours to arrive!  I know I would have been.  So off we headed to the Botanical Gardens.  Upon our arrival, there were a couple technical difficulties with the camera, but Lacey took care of those with her new-camera-battery-purchasing-skills.  So we were good to go.

Despite my O.C.D.ness with the fashion coordinating, despite the nasty dirty Memphis rain, and despite camera battery mishaps, our photos turned out beautiful.  Lacey did an amazing job and I couldn't be happier with the ending results.

And no worries, I was able to get the Christmas cards in the mail in plenty of time!  ;-)

Um....Can someone quickly tell me how to raise a human being??

Alright, so this whole motherhood thing is definitely the weirdest point thus far in my life. You always hear how great being a mom is. Tiring, but great. And yes. It really is. But nobody gives details on what really goes on behind the scenes, if you will. There’s no instruction manual that pops out strapped to your kid when they’re born. Yes, you will more than likely have plenty of advice and words of wisdom given to you by other experienced moms, but ultimately, your kid’s operations manual is different from everyone else’s kid. So I’m here to tell the truth about some of MY mommyhood experience, or at least what I’ve experienced so far in the month that I’ve been one. (Only 30 or so days of being a mom, would classify me as an expert, right? I thought so too.) And warning: some material might be classified as “TMI” (or “Too Much Information,” for you non-computer geeks) but the truth hurts & is uncomfortable sometimes, so enjoy. :-) (P.S. McKenna’s going to kill me when she gets older and reads all my blogs about her! HA! McKenna, just know I still love you & you’re the coolest little human I know, despite what you’ve put me through! :-)

One word of advice for those of you who are expecting or plan to have kids someday…Epidural! Do it! In fact, if I could have convinced my doc, I would have had one about 3 weeks PRIOR to going into labor. Life would have been A LOT more fantastic that way. :-) I don’t want to offend anyone, but people who decide to “go natural” with no drugs are absolutely out of their mind. Trust me. The epidural is amazing because it literally causes you to lose all feeling and control of the lower half of your body. And it’s absolutely wonderful. When I was in labor, I definitely had to pick up my legs with my hands to move them whenever I wanted to change positions. (Okay, for the record, I wouldn’t want to be like this all the time, but when you feel like you’re about to, in the words of my girl Amy Poehler from the movie Baby Mama , “shit a knife,” paralyses is a great option!) The epidural actually made the labor process somewhat enjoyable (if that’s at all possible…). “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” helped entertain me between pushing, and I thank Dr. What’s-His-Name-Anesthesiologist for helping me be able to concentrate on whether or not Khloe Kardashian should have posed nude for the PETA campaign. Oh, those crazy Kardashians…

So the # 3 question I received while pregnant was “are you going to breastfeed?” (Because I know you’re curious, #1 & 2 questions were “is it a boy or girl?” & “when are you due?” respectively). The weird thing about this question was that it wasn’t my friends or family who were asking, but complete strangers! First off – what the hell do they care? I mean, they’re my boobs and my kid so is it really any of their business? And they’re not ever going to ever see me OR my kid again, so really? Why the need to ask? Weird. But since YOU are my friend (at least on my blog!) I’ll share with you that I did in fact decide to breastfeed. This worked for about a week or two, and then McKenna decided that boobs piss her off and would pitch a fit whenever I’d try to feed her. Soooooooo, I’ve resorted to strapping a damn milking machine to myself every few hours to pump that crap out so she can still eat for free! And let me tell you. It’s not fun. Just imagine power sucking bodily fluid out of your udders. Yep, it’s just like that.

Speaking of bodily fluids….a couple of the most interesting points of parenthood thus far have come while standing over the changing table. The diaper changing table, that is. I read once that Jenny McCarthy contemplated cutting her son’s clothes off of him one time due to the mess that he made. And can I tell you, that’s the BEST IDEA EVER?!? Let me back up a little and give an example of why….Bryant was sitting with McKenna on his lap one day, and all of a sudden a warm gush of smelly goodness spread all over his shorts. Awesome. But no big deal, I thought, he can just go change his shorts while I change her diaper and we’ll be all good. Right? Wrong. I was unaware that my sweet, little 8 pound, baby McKenna had crapped a 46 pound condor out into her diaper and then leaked that shit onto Bryant also! Seriously, it was all the way up her back, down her legs, up her chest, all over ALL of our clothes by the time I carried her to the table, and pretty much everywhere else you can imagine. Seriously?? I almost DID cut her out of her outfit, but decided what the hell? We all need a bath or shower anyway, so why not smear that crap more by taking it off like normal? HA! I won’t give any more details, but I will leave you with two facts: 1) that particular changing experience was definitely a two person job (thanks Bryant!) and 2) that human feces are disgusting.I can only imagine how many more condor craps I’ll have to clean up or how many more gallons of milk I’ll be pumping out of myself via electronic human milking machines, but I’m sure it will all be interesting. And not to worry – I’m happy to share every weird detail with you! More to come as the “mom” experiences pile up! :-) Stay tuned…

Funston Family Planning

(Disclaimer: While this blog may seem to have a negative connotation, please be aware that the parents-to-be are very happy with the ending results!)

Well, it’s official….Bryant & I are going to be parents. AHHHHH!!! What a scary thought. If you know either of us, I’m sure you'll thought the same! But yes, we’re both really excited, but it still doesn’t seem real yet. No really…I think I’m faking it. And it’s all Stew Messer’s fault.

Let me start by describing my pregnancy from the beginning - jinxed. A friend of mine, Stew, started a nasty rumor back in early February that I was pregnant, and has been telling people ever since. Well, it took him 8 or 9 months, but it worked. He jinxed me. Punk. My stellar baby planning plan was to wait at least until I was 28 or so to pop one out. I won’t go into details of the stellar plan, because they’re all shot to hell now, since Stew had to go and ruin it.

Let me back up and describe D-Day….as in “discovered I’m jinxed” day. Stew just happened to be telling people at lunch that I was pregnant one day (which happened to be a Wednesday, by the way. No really, it was a Wednesday….no intended alluding to the legendary Mr. DC!), and something hit me….. “Oh f*ck. I’m pregnant.” Driving home from work that day, I kept having this internal argument with myself. The following is a script is what sort of went through my head on the 20 minute or so commute:

“No way. There’s no way….Bryant & I have always been careful…..well, I might as well check….yeah, that’s it, just prove Stew wrong……holy cow, I feel sooooo pregnant right now…..but I haven’t been sick…..nah, Stew’s playing mind games with me…..wtf??......I think I feel a kick…..yep, that’s definitely a kick…oh god, I'm pregnant.”

This argument in my boggled mind somehow directed my car to the local Walgreens where a plethora of “family planning” devices are sold. Time out. “Family planning?” Who the crap PLANS this kind of thing? (oaky, lots of people, but NOT me!) Every person I’ve ever seen in that aisle at Walgreens or Wal-Mart, or some other “Wal” store, has been a terrified, knocked up teenager who is thinking of ways to keep from being grounded while breaking the news to a pair of irate, “We’re too young to be grandparents” grandparents. Actually, now that I think about it….that’s probably EXACTLY what I looked like trying to decide on which “family planning” test I would take home. Anyway, I digress. I picked out a random 3 pack and took them home.

Once home, I chugged, and I mean CHUGGED about 6 glasses of water so I could relieve myself onto one of these weird little sticks (which apparently you’re not supposed to do, since it dilutes the variable – oops. I was never good at science anyway.) Sure enough….all three tests said, “yes, dumbass…you’re pregnant.” Then came the dilemma of how to break the test results to the husband. Two words to describe this conversation. Awkward turtle. Poor Bryant. I don’t remember exactly what I said, but I remember just throwing out a jumbled string of random words related to babies and pregnancy, and him giving me the “WTF" look. You know that look. So I had to show him. Despite the three positive tests, neither he or I believed it since I wasn't sick and had no real symptoms, so back to the family planning aisle at Walgreens we went to grab a two packer of a different kind of test. Yep. They were positive too. I just remember the words “oh” and “f*ck” running through my head.

Skip ahead a few days. I scheduled a doctor’s appointment, so that I could get a professional opinion and they could tell me I was faking it and Stew truly hadn’t jinxed me. I called my all-knowing sister about the appt. wondering what would happen at the doctor’s. Here’s what she said….and yes, this is a quote. “Oh, this will be the easiest prenatal appointment you’ll have. They’ll ask some questions and you’ll have to pee on another stick.” Can you say LIAR?? I almost died that day. Really. I had everything from cameras to needles shoved in me. (I apologize if that is too much information, but it’s the only way to describe what a horrible near-death experience I had). Yuck, I think I might yak in my mouth thinking about those needles and the THREE EXTRA LARGE VILES of blood they not-so-nicely extracted from my body….or maybe just faint. Either way, not good. And my hands have gone weak thinking about it…..ugh…but yes. The doc confirmed the jinxation. (Is that a word?)

I do have a sentimental moment to confess. Despite all my nay-saying about finding out I was knocked up, when I saw the embryo (fetus? baby? whatever.) and the heart beating away during the ultrasound…wow, don’t know how to describe it, but it was by far the coolest thing I think I’ve ever seen. The doctor gave me a picture of it to take home, and suddenly all my optimism and hopes were dashed. The fetus looked like a gremlin. Wonderful. Of course I would have a fetus in me that looked like a devilish character from a scary movie. Why would I think I would have a normal looking kid? And no, I’m not talking about the cute fuzzy little gremlin called Gizmo that we all know and love. No, I’m talking the scary, big-eared killing machines from that horrible Christmas horror movie.

Since that appointment, I’ve been fortunate to not be sick or have any major symptoms (except getting fat...but that could also be due to my new I love McDonald's diet!), which is why I still think I’m faking it. I think I’ve figured it out though. Stew’s playing a huge joke on me and the doctor’s in on it giving me a gremlin picture. Bastards. Anyway, I figured I’d share the story with all of you, so you can be forewarned when peeps start spreading rumors about you. And by all means…do NOT involve Stew Messer in your “family planning” plans. :-)