Germantown Half Marathon Race Recap!

I know, I know... you've just been dying to hear how my race went last weekend, haven't you? (Rhetorical question.... no need to truly answer. I am pretty sure I don't want to know the real answer to that! ;-) ) As mentioned prior, this past Sunday I ran in the Germantown Half Marathon. (Which by the way, was also the RRCA National Championship Half Marathon. How cool sounding is that? I'm going to start telling everyone I've competed in a National Championship. It IS during March Madness, after all... ;-) )

So here is a brief run (pun intended!) down of how the race played out for me:

Mile 1: Get out of my way people!! I've got a National Championship to WIN!
Mile 3.5: Check the watch... averaging an 8:35 pace. Sweetness! I can totally keep this up! #TheyCallMePrefontaine
Mile 5: (sucking wind) Okay, maybe not... (gasp! gasp!)
Mile 5.5: OMG... this blows is so stupid much fun! Why did I decide to do this not do this sooner?? (gasp! gasp!)
Mile 6: Britney Spears just came on my iPod. Ahhhhh, yeah.... she always pumps me up. Hopefully these people around me won't mind my singing! "Now I'm (gasp! gasp!) STRONGER than (gasp! gasp!) yesterday..." (gasp! gasp!)
Mile 6.5: Dude, kill me now I got this. Halfway! That's it??
Mile 7.5: Um, is that a person sprawled out across the road? Yes, yes it is. Hmmm... She definitely doesn't look like she MEANT to lay down... Should I stop and help her up? .... (internal debate ensues) .... It would give me an excuse to stop running be a good Samaritan. Nah, there are tons of people helping her up. I would totally just get in the way. Besides, I've got a National Championship to win!
Mile 8: Why is my husband on the side of the road still taking pictures? Doesn't he know that I look best at the BEGINNING of the run? He's so dead....
Mile 9.5: (gasp! gasp!)
Mile 10: SERIOUSLY? (gasp! gasp!) Three more still left? (gasp! gasp!)
Mile 11: (gasp! gasp! gasp!) I... can't.... go.... any.... more.... (gasp! gasp! gasp!) My... legs... hurt... (gasp! gasp! gasp!) ..... Ugh. I'm being such an annoying loser! Keep going and quit complaining!
Mile 12: REALLY??? Who decided to put the last mile going UP a hill??? I'm going to have to have a word with these race directors...
Mile 12.5: I think I just died internally.
Mile 13.1: Holy Hell.... there go my legs.

So there you have it. I finished it. I ran the whole time. I set a new PR. And my legs dissolved off of my body immediately after. #RockOn

Below are some pics of the race for your enjoyment. And don't play like you aren't totally jealous of our "Team Run Big" shirts. They rocked. :-)

Team "Run Big" prepped and pumped for the National Championship!

This was right before Dale made us (unwillingly) go through a dynamic warmup. All I wanted to do was eat my breakfast, and he made me do shuffles instead... Ugh.

Obviously, this was prior to mile 9.5

I believe this was at mile 8, when I had to pretend to be happy for the camera, but internally I was cussing my husband. ;-)

Dale running after MK

ATTACK

Um, I wish somebody would have told me I'm an ugly runner! Haha! #HelloBadForm

Lacey, Steph, & I sweating it up at the finish! What you can't see here is our legs disintegrated right off our bodies.

 My first coke/soda since last summer. One has never tasted so good!

MK wanted me to race her after I finished....

And it hurt worse than the actual race did!

Apparently, my driveway is too hilly for me as well.

The Day I Didn't Walk of Defecate Myself

Well...it's been a week or so and I've been slacking on the updates but I'm here now to let y'all know that running long distances is probably not the best idea I've ever had. Seriously. I think a part of me died the day of my first Half Marathon. That part of me was from the waste down. Not kidding.... I left Atlanta with what I think were two broken knees, a sprained ankle, and a bum hip. I felt like I was eighty six years old when I finally finished. (Okay, okay - I didn't really injure anything, but you SURE AS HELL could have fooled me in the few post-race hours.)

Freezing pre-race at 7am start!

Let's start with a re-cap of my goals for this race. (You can always read my pre-race blog here too!) My mental notes throughout the race were as follows:

"Do NOT, under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES crap yourself."

I know, this isn't a very lady-like topic, but this is the real deal and it needs to be discussed. Just in case you aren't into endurance type sports - let me give you a heads up. People WILLINGLY defecate themselves and marinade in their feces all the time during these things. NO JOKE HERE. They really do! And I, being a modest, I-will-break-your-legs-if-you-so-much-as-THINK-of-beating-me competitive type of person, was willing to lose a to the obnoxiously skinny yet sort of weirdly muscular Kenyan if I needed to "drop a load," if you will. I was okay with it, believe it or not. I was NOT okay however, with being unsanitary during this race....I was already going to be sweaty, and that's gross enough. Task completed. No bodily waste left my body during those couple hours.

"Do NOT walk."

Mission accomplished. Can I get a "Whoop Whoop?" (whoop! whoop!) Alright, I may have "slowed down" through two of the water/feed stations (yes, a "feed" station....like we were cattle or something. Oh, and I was herded into Corral G at the start. For real. We started in CORRALS. Like I said - cattle.), but I had done my mascara and makeup that morning and there was no way I planned on sloshing Gatorade all up my face while trying to imbibe the oh-so-needed drink and risk ruining what little bit I still had left on my face. Some things are just not worth it.

"Tumble over the finish line."

Mission NOT accomplished. BOO! There were a bunch of peeps in my way or I TOTALLY would have done at least a cartwheel. I was, and still am, annoyed. Let's not talk about it.

Some people just couldn't hang long enough to see the finish!

It's the EYE OF THE TIGER!! Rounding the corner to the finish

All done and still on our feet!! HOODIE HOO!!

A few noteworthy items that I noticed during the whole race experience.

TRUE endurance athletes will organize their race packets.

I was informed by a friend that this is a necessary part of race preparation. (This friend by the way is an absolutely OUT-OF-HIS-EVER-LOVIN' MIND obsessive endurance athlete. Seriously. He's an IronMan (you like how I bolded the word "IronMan?" I feel like it gives the name more UMPHF when read, like it deserves. Read it again and let me know what you think.) who will all in one day, run a full marathon, swim across the Pacific Ocean, ride a bike from Cali to New York, wrestle alligators in the Sahara Desert (do they even HAVE alligators in the Sarhara? I didn't think so...yep, that's how good he is.), all the while wearing spandex. Yep. Enjoy that mental image that just popped in your mind.) Okay, now....really?? I have to ORGANIZE theadvetisements that race sponsors put in a plastic baggie for me? The only important piece of information I needed from that bag was the course map (in case I needed to find a short-cut at about mile 5 or 6! At that point, I figured I wouldn't be above using a one. You gotta do what you gotta do, right?)

Atlanta, GA is apparently built in the mountains. For real. The Rocky Mountains I think. Not the weenie Smokies. But whatever...Downtown Atlanta has mountains. And my quadraceps felt every last incline.

Did you know that African American children are an endangered species? I passed an anti-abortion billboard that said that at mile 8. I had no clue....

People are wasteful. I saw more people throw away clothes on that run, than I've ever seen at any Goodwill or Plato's Closet before. I was jumping over sweatshirts and t-shirts left and right. I understand getting overheated while running, but really?? Tie your shirt around your waist! My husband would have KILLED me if I started throwing away clothes. Especially the cute Nike stuff I'd bought just for this occasion. But I'll be honest, the main reason I didn't was because I didn't want to scare small children. Like I've said before....nobody wants to see this post-partumness.

Race finishers! Kelly, Storm, & Me!

Overall, the whole experience was actually a super fun one, and despite all my nay-saying, I will definitely run in one again. Next time I just plan on training properly before. Because maybe then, I'll be able to walk the week after.

The Day After Tomorrow

Alright, this post is going to be short and sweet. I know a lot of people use their blogs as sort of an outlet and a way to reach people and ask for help. So I'm doing just that.

I need prayers. Lots. Lots of GOOD prayers. Lots of good and GENUINE prayers.

Seriously. This weekend may be the end of what we all know (and hopefully love) of....me.

Yep. It's here. DDay. Dreaded Day. Or DEAD Day as the case may be. The day of my very first HALF-I-MUST-BE-OUT-OF-MY-EVER-LOVIN-MIND-MARATHON!!! Seriously? What was I thinking? I tried to explain why I registered in an earlier blog, but now...well, crap. I have no idea.

So I was all uber-pumped up about my first long distance race after I signed up for it, but then it happened. I was training, running, ya know - doing my half-marathon preparation thing - and BAM! It hit.

Burnout.

I just stopped running.

Okay, okay - I've done a short three or four mile run here and there since the burnout hit, but honestly, for the past month, I've maybe ran a total of five miles. Yes. FIVE!! And I plan on running THIRTEEN POINT ONE day after tomorrow. (Wasn't "Day After Tomorrow" a movie about the end of the Earth? Yep - that's about where I'm at.) This is going to be bad. So that's why I need some prayers. Because, quite literally, I might die. This could be the end of me as we know it. So any shout outs to the Big Guy upstairs on my behalf would be great!

 A few notes on this weekend's shenanigans...

I will go ahead and actually go to Atlanta to run, despite every instinct of mine telling me not to...

I WILL let the weather decide on my fate (Weather.com called for thunderstorms early Sunday morning and I'm praying the I-never-get-one-forecast-correct website FINALLY gets something right!)...

I WILL NOT be so competitive (despite my crazy O.C.D. competitive nature) that I don't stop to pee if nature calls...(I also discussed this disturbing common occurrence during marathons in my earlier blog.)

I'm not above Tweeting while running/walking/crawling/dying during the 13.1 miles if they allow me! Be on the lookout!

I HAVE done what some call "mind training" for this race, however. I learned this from an old friend and roommate in college. To properly train this way, you just have to think really hard about what you're about to do. And let me tell you - it's exhausting.

I've thought long and hard about running. Not just running, but running THIS race in hilly, downtown ATL. And I think it's working. My mind feels up to the challenge. My friend even suggested to wear baggy clothes and use weights while thinking, but I bypassed that part. I can only handle so much strenuous thinking activity in one day, ya know?

Anyway, in closing, I have to be the annoying Devil's Advocate that my friends say I am....a few positive notes about this weekend.....my mind is trained and ready to go, I'll get to visit and stay in downtown Atlanta (which I've heard is the bomb diggity), I won't get rained on, and I won't have piss running down my legs.

Hotlanta here I come!!

Georgia On My Mind

Let the drums roll.  Let the bells ring.  I'm doing it.  Taking my hobby to the next level (to read about said hobby click HERE!!).  I've signed up for my very first half marathon.  AHHHHH!!!!  What the HELL am I thinking??  I'm not really sure, but here's my thoughts on the reasoning behind my impetuous actions.

Despite how uber-motivated I am in my daily running activities (pause not), my running may have reached a rather steady platue of about 3-4 miles per occurrence.  Ugh.  And for the self-proclaimed stellar runner that I am, 3 miles isn't much (okay, okay...you caught me.  Not really stellar.  More like inferior. Ugh! I'll never admit that again.  Be glad it's recorded.).  So I needed something to kick my snail-like ass into gear.  I mean, for real.  Nobody wants to look at this post-partumness much longer!  Trust me.  I don't either.  So why not sign up for a race that's longer than my typical run?  Ok, cool.  Good plan Kristin.

Here's a basic script of something similar to what was going on in my head during this decision making process:
"What local 5K's are going on in town?  Oh wait....5K = 3.1 miles?  Hmmm....hopefully my math is wrong.  It's not?  Damn.  That's not going to work.  Alright....go big or go home, right?  ATLANTA FULL MARATHON HERE I COME!!!  Oh wait.  $100+ for registration?  Hell-to-the-no-thank-you.  I guess I can go for half of that with the half marathon.  That means only HALF the pain of a full marathon, right?  That sounds more way appealing.  And Storm is doing it also?  I could have company during the race.  Done.  Sign me up."  (Storm would be Bryant's crazy ass sister....as equally crazy as me it appears).

It was only AFTER I placed my registration order online (NO refunds!  Who DOES that??) that I really thought through what I had done.  I WILLINGLY signed up for one of the most tortuous-self-inflicting human activities known to man.  Granted it's not the full 26.2 miles, but still.  Really?  What was I thinking?  Running long distances should probably be a form of capital punishment.  (For real.  People lose toenails at this kind of stuff!)  But no worries, I somehow persuaded (quite easily, I must say) another friend of mine, Kelly, to join my sister-in-law and I in the possibly suicidal activities come March 21st, 2010.  (Sucker!)

Alright, but seriously....this means I have to start running.  Like REALLY running.  Not just prancing around the office with my co-workers in our cute Nike's during what we like to call our "lunch run."  No.  I have to focus.  Harness my chi so to speak.  And it's going to suck.  I do have one goal though, and that's not to walk at all.  To run the whole thing.  I think I might be able to handle that.  Though, it may take me all day to finish, I think I can do it.  Well....let's HOPE I can handle it and not have to stop to use the "lavatory."  That's another main worry of mine.  I've heard horror stories about people crapping down themselves during marathons.  Let's just say, I'm not so down for that.  I'll sacrifice my months of training to stop and plop my constipated self down on a possibly not-so-clean porter potty if that's what it takes to keep my drawers clean.  But we shall see.  I promise to update you on this situation after the race!  ;-)

On another good note, this week I officially started my training.  Yep, that's right.  The week before Christmas...smooth.  Great planning Funston.  'Cause that Christmas Eve & Christmas dinner isn't going to slow me down at all.  The streets of Lincoln, Nebraska may have Christmas dinner chunks down them next weekend.  I apologize in advance to the locals there.  But ya gotta do what ya gotta do, right?

And if....IF I am to make it to the end of this race without walking...you know my exhausted former-cheerleader-ass will find another gear and be doing back handsprings over the finish line!

To be continued March 21, 2009....