My Celebrity Entourage

I saw Jennifer over at Crazy Shenanigans post her own celebrity entourage, so I decided to jump in, as well, with my own.


1. Beth Moore. She loves God, the written word, and making fun of herself. We were meant to be BFFs.

2. Jessica Simpson. Why?? Because we'd jam to some teeny bop music and then go shopping, all the while making my own intelligence grow more and more apparent to everyone. 

4. Carrie Underwood. Because she's perfect. We would totally workout together and then Bryant would let me invite her over for dinner since she's beautiful also vegan.

5. When Jennifer Lawrence fell UP the stairs at the Oscars and admitted the F word immediately flew through her mind, I knew we could be friends.

(Watch this video and you'll see why I love her so. #Hysterical).

Embracing My Inner Miley

So I want to thank Short Sassy Mama for the inspiration on this post. I'm so glad I'm not the only one who suffers from this type of horrible thing...
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So we all have celebrities we love, right? And then we all have celebrities that annoy us, correct? Well, I have some peeps who I adore and some peeps I dislike. We'll cover those I like first.

 I'm a product of the mid to late 90's/early 2000's pop culture. The NSYNC and Britney Spears era of pop music. So naturally I tend to gravitate towards those celebrities I grew up with.

Clarification: I mean this only in that these are the artists who I "grew up with" so to speak. That doesn't mean that I don't or didn't like older music and older artists of my time, from Vanilla Ice (oh, who could forget that sweet 'do on top of his head or the Ninja Turtle cameo that pumped us all up with "GO NINJA! GO NINJA GO!!??) to Mariah Carey (how about the time she literally went crazy on TRL with Carson Daly. Classic 90's. Oh, and speaking of Carson Daly - what ever happened to him and his black nail polish?? I miss that awkward nerd who tried so hard to be cool.).

I just happen to feel a stronger connection with Britney, Christina, & Jessica due to our closeness in age and their rise to the scene timed so perfectly with my own personal decision that I wanted dye my hair blonde and be a famous singer and dance around on stage wearing a sparkly nude colored skin suit. We're just tight like that.

Anyway, I digress.

So basically - I have celebrity musicians that I like (i.e. old-school Britney as seen in the picture to the right). And then I have celebrity musicians who I don't like. Take example A, B, and C pictures below. All of whom's fan clubs I do NOT belong to.

Lady Nasty Gaga

Miley Cyrus

Rhianna

So basically, and for a number of reasons, I'm not a big fan of these three ladies. Reasons run anywhere from what their painful ear stabbing voices sound like to their I-think-I'm-going-to-make-a-"STATEMENT"-this-time-so-the-magazines-will-put-my-picture-on-the-cover fashion style.

The TOP reasons for my dislike for them is that ALL THREE have the qualities listed below.

Make WAY more money than me.

Accomplished WAY more than me at their age.

Have personal assistants to do their hair & makeup everyday. Oh and also personal cooks and trainers to make sure they look stellar at all time. (This is where I tell myself that jealousy is a horrible, horrible thing...)

Damn.

Okay, but what REALLY irks me is when their songs come on the radio. No, not because I don't like to hear their songs, but because I DO like to hear their songs!!! I may not like their voices, but damn I love those catchy tunes! This happens to me with all three of the not-so-lovely ladies pictured above.

But mostly - it happens with Miley Cyrus. Which is even more annoying because she's what? Like 8 years old? Seriously, as annoying as Miley Cyrus or Hannah Montana or WHATEVER HER DAMN NAME IS is, you have to admit you've caught yourself "nodding your head like yeah." Or maybe even "moving your hips like yeah."

Don't deny it. We've all "Partied in the U.S.A.," if you will.

I have a confession. While writing this, this post has been somewhat of a therapy session for me, and I've come to grips with the fact that I need to overcome this and embrace my inner Hannah Montana. But I can't do it alone. I need others along with me. So let's just go with it.

So join with me right now...

I'm putting my hands up, cause they're playing my song.....and I'm nodding my head like, Yeah....

Perfection IS Possible

I KNEW it! I just KNEW that old saying, "Nobody's perfect" was a load of crock. We can ALL become perfect. And it will only cost us around $30,000.

Just ask Heidi Montag, because according to her, "Nobody ages perfectly, so (she) plan(s) to keep using surgery to make (her) as perfect as (she) can be." (Hollywoodgrind.com). As most of us probably know by now, due to the tabloid covers and Good Morning America interviews, Heidi is apparently "addicted" to reaching perfection (i.e. plastic surgery) and spent $30,000 to get there.

Don't get me wrong. I'm all about "enhancing" or doing whatever it is you feel the need to if it makes you feel better about yourself. Trust me. I'm all for it. BUT. There's come a point where enough is enough. Seriously. If you start out in life already gorgeous like Heidi did, there's nothing really that will do anymore good. Once you reach the peak, there's nowhere to go but down. And she's already started the downward slope. The same slope that Michael Jackson crashed down after his 50 gazillionth plastic surgery. I'm assuming she's working towards the surgical mask look that MJ rocked out for so long. Here are a couple before-and-after photos of Heidi:

Heidi before surgeries. So pretty.

Heidi after all her surgeries. Gross.

I hate to say it, but her surgery has aged her about 15 years, and she looks a 40 year old Hollywood actress. A younger version of Joan Rivers. (Not that being a 40 year old actress in Hollywood is necessarily a BAD thing.... but it is if you're only TWENTY THREE!) It makes me sad, because what some people (like myself), use as a nice little enhancement tool, others use to completely abuse the go-under-the-knife-freedom we have and make it seem like it's a horrible thing for people to do. Which it's not. For example, many women end up having breast augmentation after a horrible bought with breast cancer. That is a GREAT thing!! Or if you're like me - you use it make it look like you aren't a breast cancer survivor, when you never actually had breast cancer.

 Okay, okay...so maybe she wasn't happy with herself for whatever reason. Low self-esteem. That's fine - whatever. It happens. I just felt the need to point out some of the outrageous things she's said ABOUT her surgeries. Here are a few quotes from an interview with People magazine:

• “I look way better and I’m way happier, my eyebrow lift just took my face to another level, made it a little bit more European-exotic. And for the first time, I have sexy ears!” REALLY?? Sexy EARS?? I know that's something I've ALWAYS wanted my husband to whisper in my ear..."you have the sexiest ears..." (Uhhh...pause NOT!) And you're from California, not Europe. Get over it.
• “I’m competing against the Britney Spearses of the world....it was her sex appeal that sold. Obviously, looks matter, it’s a superficial industry.” No sh*t, Sherlock. But Britney hit her prime BEFORE she ever had any surgery done. DOH! Come on Heidi! You got famous BEFORE the surgeries also. And stop it with the superficial thing. We get it. You're superficial and living in a superficial world. We got it a long time ago when you told the E! Channel that you and Spencer were appalled by the fact that they quoted you two as having made ONLY 10 million dollars the prior year. I saw that interview and it made me throw up in my mouth a little bit.
• “I’m just starting. Let’s just say there’s a lot of maintenance." Yep - and that's what Michael Jackson thought too. Another round of surgeries and she'll look like the picture below.

Don't get me wrong! I'm not a Heidi Montag-Pratt-Whatever-Her-Name-Is hater! I don't dislike her by any means. I honestly just worry about her. I know I don't know her, but that doesn't mean I want her to go down the same superficial path that the King of Pop went down. But only time will tell. I wish both her & her husband luck. I wouldn't want to be married to a blonde Michael Jackson either.

Officially a Name-Dropper...

Last night I had a run in with about 456 celebrities in Nashville (okay, that number may be an embellishment)....I went to a bar after a long day of meetings and work where I met/saw/stood next to/gawked at/touched/stalker stared at the following celebrities:


JESSICA SIMPSON!! (WHAT??? LOVE her!)

Kid Rock (officially a greasy, slimy lookin' sleaze...hopefully he's cooler than he looks...for his sake)

Rascal Flatts (minus lead singer, but who really knows them without the lead singer anyway??)

Kelli Pickler (super cute hair...)

Eddie George (Amy grazed his "Heismanish" thigh...and loved it....Jess's trade-in for Romo, maybe?)

Hinder (do they really think they fit in at a NASHVILLE country bar? Stood out like a sore thumb...)


Myself and my friends were - to say the least - star struck....literally. We couldn't move. And refused to until Jess (that's what her BFFs call her...so it's ony appropriate now, right?) took a picture with us. AND we decided she made a mistake in not hanging out with us more that night. No really. We're pretty cool and she would have liked us. Her loss.


I'm beginning to think I'm a star magnet....they just flock to me. I tend to run into them in the most RANDOM places - where no celebrity would normally be. And with my ever-extending list of celebrity run-ins (i.e. Old Man Shatner - though this wasn't really a run-in, more of a proximixic "meeting", Snoop, Brett Favre, etc.) I think I've elevated myself to the next level of celebrity fanatic. Celebrity stalker. I'm past the reading of celebrity news in US Weekly and In Touch magazines...I'm a frequenter (is that a word?) of the favorite celebrity bars. And it's only V.I.P for me. Word.