The Lord Doth Provide... (An Ode to Pottery Barn & Life-Saving Prayer)

This weekend, Bryant took McKenna camping for the first time. Well, it was the "first time" if you don't count the tents we've created out of every spare pillow and blanket in our home draped across furniture throughout our house. The "tents" where MK takes a flashlight, every pony figurine she owns from the My Little Pony collection and her Pottery Barn sleeping bag.

(Yes. A Pottery Barn sleeping bag. It's one thing her entire bedroom is outfitted with the brand, but a sleeping bag puts it over the edge. I feel PB has taken some of the authenticity out of "camping" with the insanely expensive, carefully stitched, yellow and pink butterfly sleeping bags that I, as a 21st century consumer, blindly purchase for my unappreciative 4 year old. Whatever happened to making a trip to the local outdoor store to purchase ugly camouflaged or plain black/green sleeping bags and tents? I disgust myself.)

(But the sleeping bag is really cute.)

Free Shipping??? Yes, please!

Well, maybe this trip wasn't too far off from the above - except the tent was a "real" one (something we own not actually purchased from PB or made from spare blankets and pillows). Though this trip was complete with her PB pillow and sleeping bag. Oh, and the ponies. Can't forget the ponies...

Anyway, Bryant had a race he had to be at in Shelby Forest early Saturday morning for work. So he suggested to take MK out there camping with him.

I immediately agreed pondered for a little bit, not at all concerned wondering if taking a little girl up to Shelby Forest at such a young age, was such a great idea. After no much hesitation, I agreed and figured it would give me a night off of double kid duty be a good experience for her.

Bryant quickly packed up the car with his and MK's Pottery Barn stuff and met up with a couple good friends, Dale and Ryan, for night of camping under the stars.

With the boys and MK gone, myself and Dale and Ryan's wives had a wild night of Mac 'n Cheese and Dateline over at my house after Meda G was put to bed.
(Who knew that adding a bit of onion to homemade Mac 'n Cheese would cause angles to descend from the heavens??)
(Don't tell my vegan husband I devoured two bowls of that delicious animal product goodness. I appreciate your discretion.)
(But in my defense, I'm what one might call a "Chee-gan." Mmmm.... cheeeeese....)

Oh, and I don't want to forget the 1/2 glass of red wine I consumed.

I'm telling you - wild night.

I don't know if any of you watch Dateline, but my friend Molly is borderline obsessed with it. No big deal that it comes on at NIGHT and covers TRUE stories of CRAZED KILLERS, RAPISTS and HOMICIDAL MANIACS. (My blog totally just got flagged using those key word search terms. Awesome. I might as well have just put a giant red target on my forehead screaming COME KILL ME NOW LUNATICS!) So yeah, we watched that.

While the boys were gone.
In the dark.
With no husband protection anywhere close.

And then my friends went home and left me alone.

I know what you're thinking...

Great friends, right??  ;-)

(This is the point where I would normally google a picture of a seriel killer, but I'm done risking blowing my google search ranking sky high with talks of homicides. So maybe just imagine a photo that would nicely compliment the post at this point.)

Well, to top is off, this all came a couple nights after watching "The Call" on Redbox where a mentally disturbed man kidnapped and tortured young women and then buried them in a random field. (Interesting movie on the 9-1-1- dispatch center, by the way... I recommend it if you aren't female and going to be alone at any point in time in the near future. Or if you're a big Halle Berry fan.)

As I prepared to go to bed, after double checking the house alarm was set, of course, I made sure to add looking out every window and strategically have the dogs lay by every door to my bedtime routine. Then I stayed up as late as possible, so I could carefully listen for an ax murder to come in to steal Meda G and I read some.

I picked up my bible to try and calm my nerves. But you want to know what verse I turned to? Psalm 143:8 (Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life.). No big deal, right? Should have made me feel better, right?

Well, yes. That is until you read on...


Rescue me from my enemies, Lord,  for I hide myself in you. (Psalm 143:9)

Errrr... Enemies?  Why is the Bible talking to me about "enemies" on this particular night?? Hmmmm.... a seriel killer would definitely be considered an enemy. I quickly flipped the page.

To Matthew 10:39. "Whoever finds their life will lose it..."

Eeeek.... I flipped again...

To 1 Peter 3:14. "But even if you should suffer..."

I immediately shut the bible. Visions of the night I was almost raped and killed by a dead phone flashed before my eyes. The Good Lord had to be telling me I was about to suffer at the hands of my enemy (aka - ax murderer) and lose my life. He was WARNING ME.

So I tried to change His mind on that plan. I immediately prayed over Romans 8:28 and reminded Him that He promised to do me good. And then I so-very-sweetly asked him to save my life later that night when I would surely need it.

And guess what?

Ask and you shall receive!

I was not murdered. I wasn't even remotely tortured by a crazed lunatic. I didn't even see one! Both Meda and I slept peacefully. (Well, until 3:45AM when Meda decided it was time to eat. At which I quickly prayed the same prayer again since it was dark and I couldn't see out the windows into the dark very well to scope out anybody looking to break in. The good Lord is GOOD, my friends. He once again saved my life that night!)

The next morning, after Bryant and MK came home, I started to share with Bryant about how my life had been in jeapordy while he was galavanting in the woods. Then I decided against it. I didn't want him to think he couldn't ever leave me at the house alone again. (But I really did.) I didn't want him to think of me as mentally weak. (Which I am.) And I didn't want him to make fun of me. (Which he totally would have.)

So, my dear blog friends, that whole night is going to be our little secret. We won't tell Bryant how I devoured bowls of animal product (did I mention I used a large bowl?), how a homicidal maniac was most assuredly perched outside my bedroom window waiting to pounce, or how the Lord decided that since I was able to memorize one tiny verse (Romans 8:28) out of all 66 of his bible books, I should be given another shot at life.

We'll let the memory of that night be of Pottery Barn and My Little Pony camping and spending time MK and friends, instead of my near-death. :-)