When PreSchool Mama's Attack

So I've been meaning to post this, but just haven't yet....probably due to the fact that I was dreading re-living this day. It's now two weeks later, and I've recovered. Enjoy.

February 1, 2010 

So, today I experienced what I believe to be the first of MANY weird sacrifices I will most likely make for my daughter. What did I sacrifice? Oh, ya know....only my life. Let me start at the beginning....

Bryant and I made the decision to enroll McKenna in pre-school come this fall. Yes - she'll only be a little over a year old, but we want to provide her with every opportunity to learn and grow to her full potential, as any parent would. Besides, she needs to get out of the house and hang out with kids other than Bryant. (Yes - that was a small pathetic attempt at a sarcastic jab in my husbands direction. Just go with it.) So we did a little (okay, okay - minimal) shopping around for day cares/pre-schools and settled on Hope Church's pre-school program. I liked this program mainly because it is an actual SCHOOL and not just day care. Plus, it's a part of a church, so the teachers there HAVE to be nice to my kid, right??

  

So like any school that starts in the fall, registration is in the spring. February 1st at 5:00pm, to be exact. I planned on showing up right around 5:00, maybe 4:50-4:55 if I was feeling a little over-zealous. No big deal, right? Wrong. At the "Open House" Bryant & I attened, they ever-so nonchalantly mentioned how there are only 14 spots available in MK's age group and how last year registration started at 8am and people started lining up at 3am to get in. SERIOUSLY? So in order for McKenna to "get in" I had to go wait in line FIVE hours prior to the start of registration??? I guess I didn't realize this wasn't like public schools where they'll take any hooligan who walked through the doors. Damn! And the 1st was a Monday, so that means Bryant & I would have to strategically plan out our day accordingly if we wanted McKenna to get in to this program. 

Turns out Bryant had stuff to do that day, and I had work. Ugh. Luckily, my boss is super cool and I can easily work from my laptop pretty much anywhere, so she gave me the go-ahead to sit in line with my computer. (Plus, she has a year and a half year old little boy whom she had on a preschool waiting list PRIOR to his birth. And PRIOR to knowing if he was a male or female. I love it! So she totally understands and gets where I'm coming from with this whole "every opportunity" parent thing.) So my mom came into town to help babysit McKenna that day while Bryant did his thing and I did my pre-school wait in line for hours thing. 

Here's the basic run down of the day: 

8:00am. I'm not taking any chances....drive to the church, back pack loaded down with my computer and some extra work to be done. Nobody's here and doors are locked. Damn. It would have been easier to set up shop right then, but with no power outlet, my computer is likely to go on strike. Ugh. Oh well. I'll go home and return in a couple hours. (There was NO WAY I was waiting in the 32 degree Memphis weather outside for 8-9 hours).

10:15am. I've eaten breakfast and gotten a jump start on some emails. Feeling good. Head back to the church with my computer. Nobody's in the parking lot and doors are still locked. Didn't they say to get here "early?" WTF? I thought so too....alright, maybe I'll come back again in a couple hours.

12:00pm. If I go over there and the doors are locked ONE MORE TIME after packing up all my work crap, I might freak my freak. Time to pick up the phone and call. Dialed. No answer. Alright - doors must be locked. I'll wait a little while longer. I have more emails to catch up on anyway... 

2:00pm. Ugh. I should probably check again to see if it's open yet. I only live one mile from the place, so I'll drive over and if it's open, I'll come back and get my computer. Hop in the car with no computer. 

2:02pm. F!! Pre-School Mama's (known as PSM's from here on out!) are lined up waiting in their cars!! Oh HELL NAH!! They are NOT going to beat me in line today! I've already been here multiple times, so technically, I was in line before them! I park my ass right in the middle of a line of cars. Time to sit and wait. 

2:15pm. Alright, I need to get some work done, but can't risk moving from this spot. Call the husby and ask him to bring me my computer. I start strategizing my sprint finish for when they unlock the doors. Good think I wore my running shoes.... 

2:17pm. Who does that PSM think she is getting OUT of her car and walking up to the door? You JUST drove up! There's NO WAY you're going to be allowed to cut in front of us who have been sitting in our cars and ever-so-politely-ignoring-each-other-while-working-on-our-plan-of-attack. 

2:20pm. Janitor sees PSM outside locked door and let's her in!!! OMG!! Time to get serious! Sorry husby - you're gonna have to find me inside. All of us PSM's jump out of the car simultaneously. I walk quickly/speed walk/borderline run to the now unlocked doors. Victory. I beat them all. (See? I KNEW all that half-marathon training would pay off! 

2:25pm. I park myself fourth back in line(Annoying, I know. But the PSM who walked up to the door first had her sister and a friend with her, so I felt bad ordering them to the back of the line. Hey - I'm a nice person, alright? BUT no worries. Their kids were all older than mine, so I was still FIRST in line for McKenna's age group. BOOYAH!) 

2:30pm. Bryant shows up with the computer and a yummy Lenny's sandwich. Jackpot. Now I can feed my face and get some more work done. 

3:00pm. Whoa now. The line has more than DOUBLED in size of what it was. PSM's keep showing up, gawking at the length of the line and trying to cut.(In their defense, the line ended up facing the direction of the door, so it looked like the front was actually the back.) But they were quickly shot down by the five of us who were in the very front. 

3:15pm. A rather upscale-looking PSM arrives and stands non-chalantly on the other wall opposite of me. Without making eye contact with anyone, she sets her massive Fendi handbag down on the floor and leans against the wall. Myself and the other PSM's look at each other with that evil gleam in our eyes. Oh yes. We understood alright. This PSM was planning on making a last second dash for the front without claiming her rightful spot at the BACK of the line. Myself and the pack of PSM's at the front would not allow this. We'd better go in for the kill early. We silently planned out our attack. The fearless leader of our line politely, yet forcefully informed the out-of-line PSM that the end of the line was "back that way" with an extended arm point. Long pause. Out-of-line PSM hesitates (to decide a plan of action, no doubt), then slowly leans down to grab her bag with a mumbled, "thanks." She unwillingly waltzed her way to the back of the line and took her spot. Whew. Crisis averted. Someone could have gotten hurt. Glad she didn't put up a fight or it could have gotten nasty. 

4:55pm. Fast forward to almost 2 hours and a plethora of PSM's later. The Pre-School adminstrator decides to show up. The line of PSM's get restless and antsy. 5:00pm. Administrator begins taking registration forms and our hard earned PSM non-refundable registration money. 

5:00:48pm. I walked up to the desk with a big smile and my forms. Administrator takes them and says, "Thank you. Have a good night." 

Wait.....That's IT? My entire life wasted away today in a church parking lot and hallway and that's all I get?? A measley SIX words?? I feel as though I should have at least gotten some sort of certificate for wasting my day like that. Or at the VERY LEAST a "HIP HIP HOORAY!" Hmpf! They are rather anti-climatic at Hope Church if you ask me. 

So moral of the story. I think I'd rather wait in line for Miley Cyrus tickets (Ugh! Gag me!). At least I'd have some immediate gratification. And Hope PreSchool had BETTER accept her for my day of lack of work done that day and the torment I endured sitting on that hard church floor with the other PSM's. 

Or else.... Tune in next month for the announcement of her acceptance or rejection.